This past weekend, Craig Gross came and spoke to my church on loneliness and how it can easily be connected with porn. The interesting thing is that just last week, I was talking to a friend about how lonely I have been feeling, even though I have so many great friends, and how I think it has a direct correlation to my desire for porn. Then a couple days later, this came up in counseling. So, with all of that said, I have a feeling this is something God wants me to address.

Craig shared Hebrews 13:5 in his message and it has been in my head ever since. “ “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” This is the only promise that we need to cling to and yet we so easily lose sight of it. No matter how much we have failed or abandoned God, He will not fail or abandon us. He is our rock on the hard days and there to pick us up when we fall. He is also there on our great days, rejoicing with us.

In Isaiah chapter 41, God makes a similar promise. “For I hold you by your right hand—I, the Lord your God. And I say to you ‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.” This verse strikes me not only because of the comfort and encouragement it brings but because of who this verse is directly addressing and why. God is talking to the Israelites who have been wandering in the desert for years and continue to fail to follow God and realize what He has for them. They were blind, lost and wandering and yet God still promised that He would never fail or abandon them. This is a pretty heavy promise for a group of people who continued to fail. God could have easily turned His back and given up on them and yet He still was there and promised His presence and peace all along the way.

So with this promise that God will always be there and never fail us, why is it so easy to be consumed by loneliness? With amazing friends that surround and support me, why is it easy to be so lonely? I think the answer lies here: Satan. This is the one trick he can easily get away with and make me believe, especially as a woman who struggles with porn. It is so easy to get back into thinking that I am the only woman that struggles with this and I feel so alone. Thus begins the cycle of giving into my temptation, feeling guilty and alone and then giving in again. It is an ugly and vicious cycle that I sometimes can stop but other times nothing can seem to stop it.

So, here are a few steps I suggest you and I do the next time we feel alone before getting to the place where we give in to our temptation:

1)    Read and/or recite Hebrews 13:5 and assure yourself that God is right there and is not leaving. Lay these feelings of loneliness at the cross and rest in Him.
2)    Reach out to a friend. Give someone a call and just tell him or her that you need to talk or just be with someone. Don’t beg him or her for reassurance or praise; just be with him or her. This may just mean playing a game with him or her or going for a walk.
3)    Find something you enjoy (a hobby, craft, movie, etc) and do it! If you are still lonely, find a friend to join you in on the fun!
4)    Journal out your thoughts and specifically journal out a prayer and be raw and honest with God and your feelings. The more honest you are, the better it will feel and the more relief you will feel.

My prayer is that we can get farther away from feelings of loneliness and closer to feeling complete in Christ. He is all we need and He knows what is going to help and hinder us. We have to cling to Him and trust that He is there in the good times and the bad.

Adelaide Brown