OK, let me just set up a disclaimer before I start.
I am a freelance writer who works from home.Â I am also a freelance writer whose assignments are often based in pop culture.Â This means that there will be many times when you will read one of my blogs and the sentence will start with something like, “I was watching TV the other day”, or “I heard this song on the radio”, or “I just read this article in a magazine”.Â I just wanted to mention that so that you wouldn’t be thinking, “Man, what does this girl do all day?”Â Trust me, the older I get, the less entertainment-driven and/or amused I am with the whole scene.
So now that we’ve gotten that out in the open, let me proceed.
So, I was watching TV the other day (smile) and I must say that although currently there are a few things on the tubeÂ that actually do surprise me (like what the FX show “Dirt” is able to air at a time when many kiddies are still flipping through channels), there was something that happened on “The Greg Behrendt Show” that almost disgusted me.
Now, he didn’t say it.Â As a matter of fact, I actually like that dude.Â There are so many women who need to suck it up and admit it when a man is not all that into them (remember that book?).Â But, he has a man by the name of Michal AlvearÂ who calls himself a “sexpert” as a regular guest, and while most times that I catch the show I can usually take in his advice—as much as I can as a single woman who’s trying to stay focused on living a life without pre-marital sex can—there was something he said recently that made me ill.
The show was about what they call “sex ettiquette” and a girl stood up and said, “I’m 23 and a virgin.”
The audience clapped.
“How can I keep a guy interested when I’m not having sex?”
Good question, ma.Â Good, good question.
However, a few moments later, something was said by the sexpert that I didn’t see coming:Â “Why are we clapping like virginity is an accomplishment?Â Why aren’t we clapping for the people who are having sex?”
Man, is he serious?
Ironically. within this same week, I caught a part of an episode of “Dr. Phil” and there was a guest on who was wanting to be on a reality show tentatively called, “Virgin Territory” in which the winner gets the “grand prize” of losing, I mean, giving, his goods to a porn star.Â
Talk about a high (sex)Â taking an all-time low (marketed sin).
So, let me just stop here for a moment and say that if you are a virgin (and yes, for you skeptics reading this,Â there are virgins who battle with pornÂ who are probably reading this right along with you), BEING A VIRGIN IS A HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT.
I’m not really sure where the sexpert was coming from, but I do know what the Word says about holding out, which is basically slang for exhibiting self-control.Â Galatians 5:22-23 (NKJV) says:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.”
In other words, one of the greatest evidences of having the Holy Spirit living within you is being able to control your appetite; not just for illicit sex, but anything that, whether due to timing or circumstance, is not in your best interest.Â That could be food, shopping, power, money, fame—whatever.
One of the things that another guest said on “Dr. Phil” in relationship to the poor guy who wants to give his sacred gift to a woman who doesn’t understand how sacred her gift is, is that “People used to be famous for an achievement, but now fame is the achievement.”
This world is so vain now, isn’t it?Â I wonder how many people know, remember, or even care that Lucifer (who is now Satan) was kicked out of heaven because of his vain imaginations.Â So yes, it’s no wonder that the prince of the air (Ephesians 2:2) would want us so caught up in being known that we no longer care what we are known for; that somehow, getting what we want right now is more important than waiting on God’s best for us, which is what having self-control is all about.
It’s springtime, spring fever is in the air, so please believe I am preaching to the choir when I say that whether you’re a virgin or not, if you are trying to rule over your appetite rather than letting it rule over you, you have something to be proud of.Â Take yourself to a movie, buy yourself a new CD, jump into a bubble bath.Â CELEBRATE YOURSELF FOR GETTING THROUGH TODAY, TONIGHT, THIS MOMENT.
The world may not care, but God does.Â And, trust me, I know as much as the next guy and/or girl that while trying to conquer your flesh is hard, and at times, grueling work, at least for me, succumbing to my temptation often leaves me filling empty in the end; however, when I refuse it, there is a feeling of comfort that comes over me that is far greater.
According to John 16:7 (AMP), that’s the Holy Spirit.Â The religious fanatics want us to think that he’s just here to tell us when we have been naughty, but the Word says that the perks are far greater than that.Â The Bible says that aside from being our conscience, he is also our “Counselor, Helper, Advocate, Intercessor, Strengthener, Standby”.Â
I don’t know about you, but no ice cream sundae, high-heeled pump, $100 bonus or one-night stand has ever been able to provide me with all ofÂ that., so the whole self-control thing has got to be worth giving a shot, right?
Don’t you feel better already?Â Don’t thank me.Â Thank the Holy Spirit.Â He knows you better than you know yourself, and if you’re reading this right now, know that he’s reaching out to you and reminding you of your worth; a value that’s far above your personal desires and fetishes.
So, virgins, don’t worry about the haters.Â You keep on doing you.
And everyone else, no matter where you are in the struggle, at the very least, you are fighting to live a better life because you are on this site, reading this blog, right?
Consider yourself comforted.