I think when one hears the word “sobriety”, they instantly think of being sober from alcohol or drugs. But pornography? Sobriety is quite the same. The definition from Merriam-Webster isn’t too helpful. The definition of sobriety is “the quality or state of being sober”.
Sobriety is something I didn’t see possible for someone like me. Coming from a background of being hooked on pornography for 24 years, yeah, I didn’t think sobriety was possible. How could I?
The state of being sober, being clean from pornography, indeed a process. Coming clean isn’t something anyone person can do alone. Nor do I think it was ever meant to do alone.
Sobriety is more than just coming out and confessing one’s junk to another. Sobriety is more than the continuous cycle of confessing. Sobriety is an act, an ongoing act. I don’t think sobriety is something that you achieve and then it’s done, bam! It’s an ongoing, day by day decision making journey.
Indeed, sobriety is also a choice. The phrase, “sobriety is coming clean” makes me think of the following analogy. Let’s say that after taking my morning shower and beginning my day feeling all fresh and clean, I’m walking along the sidewalk to catch a taxi in the pouring rain with no umbrella when, suddenly, I get sprayed by a oncoming car hitting a huge mud puddle. As I stand there dripping in mud and dirty water, of course, all I can think about is wanting to get clean, take a shower and STAY clean. With sobriety, I believe there comes a point in our will where we say, “I want to STAY clean.”
I’m getting close to eight months of sobriety from pornography. The temptation is always there, but I’ve reached a point in my duration of being clean that I want to stay clean. It’s not worth the risk to give up or give in.
Sobriety can also be viewed as a new chapter in one’s life. Our lifestyles cannot remain the same while in the process of sobriety. There has to be a change otherwise nothing would change. How can an alcoholic expect sobriety if he/she visits a local bar every now and then?
To me, sobriety also means coming clean with yourself. I have to face the hard realities of my daily choices. Sobriety means nothing if you can’t be honest with yourself. Being honest with a sponsor or mentor also means nothing if you can’t be honest with yourself first. There really is no point.
Sobriety is possible for everyone stuck in an addiction. It’s especially possible for those who are stuck in a pornography addiction. There must be a little flame or spark inside our hearts that can believe it to be possible.