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The Many Reasons Why Girls Become Porn Stars

by Shellie R. Warren on May 26th, 2013 in Women

many-reasons-girls-become-porn-stars I don’t know about you, but personally, I find it to be pretty fascinating that when Scripture is quoted, people tend to want to debate it (Colossians 2:8).

For instance, when the Word says “Flee sexual immorality” (I Corinthians 6:18 NKJV), there tends to be great debates about what actually constitutes sexual immorality.

Or when Malachi 2:15 speaks of the importance of husbands and wives birthing babies and then raising them to be true to God, people want to talk about how it doesn’t affect a child to be raised in a single parent home (you can actually read a ton of statistics that speak of the many challenges a child has without having one of their parents on a constant basis, by the way).

And while I personally believe the Word does stand for itself, I am always thankful when someone is able to voice many of its resolves in a “parable” kind of way. Such is the case with an article that I read in Huffington Post recently entitled “Why Your Daughter Wants to Be a Porn Star”. It was written by Jennifer Ketcham, a former porn actress who is currently getting her Master’s in Social Work. Here are excerpts of her conclusions.  If you are a parent, you might want to take notes, because this has more to do with you than you may wish to admit. In fact, these are the reasons why your daughter wants to be a porn star. (Just in case you’re wondering, I fit numbers 2, 3, 6, 8, 9 and 10. And I loved Disney movies).

1. Because you loved her enough, but you didn’t love her right. You weren’t attuned to your daughter’s emotional state as a child, and now, she has difficulty connecting intimately with other human beings.

2. Because you were her friend, and not her parent (Hello Baby Boomers!). You never set solid parental boundaries, and you failed to teach her about her right to have her personal boundaries respected.

3. Because you got divorced, and it was ugly. I don’t even need to discuss the damaging effects of a nasty divorce because these statistics are known. However, if you still think it’s cool to get divorced and drag your kids through the mud because children are resilient, or won’t notice how poorly you two treat one another, think again.

4. Because you raped, beat, or neglected her. Or someone close to you did. Though plenty of women who were abused as children do not go into porn, many women who have been abused (physically, emotionally or sexually) do participate in sexual risk taking behaviors.

5. Because you let her watch insane amounts of television. There is a cost to letting the media raise your children. Even an hour over the average 72 minutes most children watch per day can cause great damage.

7. Because you gave her a smartphone when she was 10, and now she takes awesome #selfies all day. With every picture she takes to post to her social media sites, she becomes less sensitive to the idea of her images floating around on the web.

8. Because her friends want to be porn stars, Playboy models, the Bachelorette or any other exaggerated and hyper-sexualized version of a real woman, and you aren’t close to her friends. When a child has excessive contact with her peers and loses touch with safe adult attachments, the likelihood increases that she will become an addict, as mentioned in addiction specialist Dr. Gabor Maté’s recent book, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts.

9.  Because you never showed her a healthy way to fill the spiritual void that is quintessentially human. Isn’t it interesting that girls leave porn because they’ve found religion? It happens every day, even to girls who were considered to be “the world’s hottest porn star.” Money, sexual exploration, and false adoration didn’t provide personal fulfillment like spirituality did.

10. Because you did the best you could to raise her right… but it wasn’t enough.

There’s not much more to say than that, is there? (There really isn’t.)

So, the next time you look at a porn actress, ask the Lord to bring this list to your remembrance. And the next time you look at your daughter (or niece or grandchild or someone you mentor), do some quick assessing.

Rome wasn’t built in a day. Porn actresses aren’t made overnight (or by themselves) either.

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  • wanker

    I watch porn all the time and still treat women with respect, just because I like some eye candy when I wank does not mean I’m not a gentleman.

  • Brandon Dunham

    This article was very well written and I think has a lot to offer. I see these selfish and abusive
    (God-hating, not God-fearing -“If you love me then you would keep my commands”)
    qualities in the characteristics of most people I encounter. Mostly due to an unwillingness to repent “how great is that darkness”
    (we did not want a light in the world we wanted to hide in the dark from God with our sin. Both men and women, we have our differences but we both have our terrible similarities).

    I have divorced parents and it has caused a lot of grief, as you have considerately said.
    When I began to mature and grow up around many pornographic influences it was very easy to blame my lust and spiritual immaturity and deficiency with:
    ‘It’s just a part of growing up (Lie), no wonder I watched porn or looked at half-naked women! I’m a man (a boy disguised as one). I have needs too (‘Needs’ is a substitute word/symbol for: ‘I am slave to LUST but my punk-behind wont Admit it’). Surprise! I have a sexuality!’ (BS -Jesus didn’t pull a Nephilim and give into the flesh, the lord Is not tempted, Bro)
    All of the above excuses, of course, are complete foolishness and dishonesty on any mans part to claim (I would know). Obviously this is not loving God or those around me. God does not Tempt so its inevitably our own wickedness to Lust, and dwell in it. We transgress against God (happily, we Break his heart which means yes -its our fault we look at Gods sons/ daughters with lust). This ‘Boy’, intends to justify his ungodly endeavor. Which is from the lust and indulgence of temptation in his wicked heart and, I, like this boy lacked the humility to admit it.
    I, obviously, didn’t love God enough to realize how much lust against him and myself caused suffering. This unrepentant and self-deceiving mentality would be confronted in me by God and his holy spirit as I matured in his word. This mentality, if let to be justified in wicked hearts, will carry over into any relationship attempted to be established by this, as Solomon would call this individual, Fool and would be harmful to this mans ‘object’ or ‘woman’ or ‘sex-toy’
    (at least that’s this woman would be to this individual who is unable/unwilling to put away childish things like lust after flesh)
    which, obviously cannot be the foundation into a fruitful marriage. That six pack will be gone one day, bro.

    What I ultimately intend to say is that your absolutely correct when you asses that porn stars tend to be very hurt and tragically developed individuals. Both male and female. Whether they see it by the light of Christ or not in their darkness where suffering and unfulfilled hopes/desires/dreams are an everyday way of life that ‘can never change’. Yes Parents do play a big role, but so does the child when he or she decides it where they want to invest their lives. There’s no excuses. But there’s grace through faith and repentance.

    Cant B.s. God, I tried and it Doesn’t work. Which is good, its better to live in the ‘light’ than suffer whatever that sex-toy relationship is called -“Not-Good-Enough?” (that’s a sufficient title to me). Lets hope God is loved so little girls don’t find pornography as a means of a fulfilled spirit and foolish little boys like me don’t justify it with their incredible selfishness and lack of humility.

  • K

    @Wanker: How is it being a gentleman to lust after a woman and treat her (if if only in your own mind) like a slab of meat. It’s still selfish.

    • L

      The two are not mutually exclusive. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a visual stimulus to help you achieve orgasm, while still having a “normal”, loving, respectful relationship. My boyfriend and I watch porn together. We appreciate and love each other’s body while still having a visual stimulus to either get the arousal going or to achieve orgasm.

      • wanker

        ^ exactly

        • Jay

          It is the objectification that is the problem. Pornography turns people into objects, possessions, denying their human nature. This is different that appreciating beauty, or finding someone attractive. When we turn people into objects we can’t see them as people, we have little sympathy etc… This is not only a problem in porn.

  • K

    even if*

  • C. Massey

    I was really going crazy about my use of Porn and maasterbation. I am a father of two, a 2yr old boy and a 7month old girl. It was the thought of seeing my daughter in a video I find online that made me take a step to blocking pron on my computer. reading articles like this is another step in the right direction.

  • Kay

    I’m a woman struggling with an addiction to porn but I don’t see any online support groups for women.

    • l

      google “dirty girl ministry” or “whole women ministry” good luck on your journey to healing

      • Fantasia

        I’ve gotten involved with a 12 step group with lots of women. It’s Sex Addict Anonymous. They have women only meeting. They are not a religious organization but there are Christian women there. It’s helped me tremendously.

        • Fantasia

          DGM helped me as well.

  • JM

    Good perspective, God loves all his children, those who have not found him yet, and the lost sheep …

  • Claude

    “Pornography” is a word to describe sexual activities in communication with third parties not directly involved with a given event.

    When one studies Hebrew Scripture records about sexual conduct there is a severe lack of full detail, yet the Western World bases most of its sexual concepts on what little the Hebrew Scripture includes.

    Even the Muslim world adapts its extremely twisted domestic and heavy-traffic in homosexual practices out of Hebrew Scripture, which record it heavily copies from or tries to mimic.

    What IS sexual activity that Creator approves? If this question and its answer are not carefully researched, then this article makes sense. If the way Creator formed humans to practice sex is researched carefully, then this article has a base merit, but misses the reality of human sexuality by a mile.

    A parallel is found in In human life, and murder. Routinely unborn people are murdered for the convenience of the mother’s sexual desires, and this is a crime. But, Creator is not so concerned with the death of the infant as He is with the one who murders. The infant simply goes to Heaven, but the murderer is headed to Hell.

    This gives a hint at the crime found in SOME porn. It is not the making, nor the viewing, but it IS the intent of both. Original sexual practice was with father, mother, daughter, and son. The intention was procreation. Then one guy bragged that he took two sisters for his sax mates, apparently when one sister was considered a limit.

    We know the women were siblings, because only two possible parents were available.

    As time went by, Fallen Angels found a way to produce children with human daughters, and this was a crime, according to Creator.

    But, it was not a crime to have multiple husbands, or wives, or many of both, by Creator’s design.

    When one finds the correct answer, it is clear what Creator meant when He stated that there is no marriage in Heaven. Everyone has no jealousy, and since all humans are resurrected in their body form – yes, Hebrew Scripture plainly says so, all in Heaven can have sex with all others.

    Back to this article. Why porn is evil is not what it is, but what those who produce and watch it use it for. Creator says it is criminal to have greed and covetousness. He does not say it is criminal to have have and practice sex with any number of people, separate or together.

    The woman the evil-minded Temple Leaders brought to Creator as taken in adultery was released when Creator likely wrote the names of the women each Temple Leader had sex with without due respect for her, or a wife, or in some other way disrespectful.

    Monogamy is a religious doctrine, NOT a Creator ordination! It promotes jealousy, and little else. But, jealousy, for humanity, is humanity!

    Go figure . . .

    • Sailosi Tarai

      By your own logic, you also assume that it is okay for 2 daughters to lay with their father. LOT and his daughters did after escaping the cities of Sodom of Gomorrah, and your comment is saying that GOD approved that kind of sexuality. Have you noticed that all the people that came from Ishamel, Esau, LOTS daughters were all enemies of Israel? you bring up lamech from Cain’s lineage, who was the father of Disobedient children. It has never been approved by GOD to behave in this way!

      There are spiritual Forces which abound on Earth. We know this because of “we reap what we sow”. This is the spiritual Law earth follows. It is not about what GOD specifically said is crime, it is about living righteously and HOLY. PORN is an agent of Lucifer. IT is not HOLY. Anything that defiles the creations of GOD, the Body or the even worse, the spirit, is not of GOD.

      GOD makes it clear what he allows for pro-creation. The Man and woman in marriage become one flesh. Now if a man leaves his father and mother to cleave to his Wife and the two become one flesh, then that is a spiritual Union! PORN completely defiles this, destroys the Body and the spirit because it causes spiritual Bondage.

      There is no pro-creation in Heaven because we are not flesh and blood in Heaven. We will be celestial beings. that is why we had to fall from EDEN (which is in heaven) in order to become Mortal and Pro-create. Sex without the intent to pro-create is giving into the desires of the Flesh. the whole purpose for Sex was to pro-create, not to defile our bodies and our spirits with multiples upon multiples of of people.

      SO, if your not having Sex to pro-create (which can only be between a man and woman) then you are following after your flesh. The spirit seeks and desires the things of GOD, not the desires and things of the flesh. Pro-creation is of GOD, Sex is of humanity. But we want to justify our sinful behavior so we try to find loop-holes n the WORD of GOD. If you are truly led by the Spirit, then you won’t go after the flesh.

      So please, stop spreading LIES! the sinful and wicked are always looking for free passes to satisfy their mortal fleshy urges. GOD is not about anything to do with the flesh, GOD is a spirit being. That is why he said “if you love me, keep my commandments”, which we can only do once we submit our body to the leadership of the Spirit. Just as a Bride submits to the Bridegroom. For the Spirit is of GOD and desires the things of GOD, but the Body is of the Earth and desires the things of the Earth.

      PORN is not GODLY, therefore, it is Earthy. ALL SEX outside of PRO-CREATION is an abomination to the LORD. It is against GOD’s plan and commandment to pro-create, it leads to idol worship, self worship, selfishness, frustration etc… Are these the fruits of GOD? NO WAY! the way we accept sex to satisfy desire today is the reason why we have so much infidelity, Women not satisfied by their husbands go looking for something better. Men also doing the same. Porn taking over for sexual gratification.

      All these things stand in the way of GOD’s ordinances. the family, pro-creation. Paul (the false apostle) and Timothy said that if you can’t resist lust, then you should Marry, because Marriage is a spiritual Union, Thereby containing the Lust inside the Marriage so you don’t willingly defile yourself and your spirit with others. For What GOD has put together, NO man can put asunder. This means although you divorce, you are still together spiritually.

      SEX is not a game, it carries heavy spiritual consequences!

  • guest

    =( very judgemental article. Have you ever thought that those parents are suffering as well, from their childhood issues? Instead of reaching out to those parents, basing them- this is terrible- just as bad as you say they are.

  • exposingBSstufflikethis

    Honestly, all of your faith in Jehovah, hinders all of you greatly, almost to the point of retardation. Actually, scratch that. You are retarded, but I digress. Of course, a little girl having sex is wrong, but when a girl comes of age, she should be able to have sex whenever she wants to. It’s a natural process, that harms the body and the soul when it is neglected. Sure, not everyone is able to find a partner, but getting off to porn can help with that. Find the light; exposingchristianity (dot) com

    • DomD01

      Hmmmm, you said that “a little girl having sex is wrong”. Says who? Who establishes right and wrong? Is it your moral judgment that says it’s wrong? If there is such a thing as moral right and wrong, where does that standard come from? Frankly, if it comes from you then that is your opinion. I might happen to think it’s OK (which I don’t) that someone have sex with a little girl. The truth of the matter is that if there is a moral standard of right and wrong, that standard comes from somewhere. According to the understanding of someone like me, a follower and bondservant of Jesus Christ, the standard is not a standard unless its perfect. Most would agree that there are no perfect people, and most don’t think real deeply about it. Many claim ignorance or adhere to the position of no God, but yet the same people would still say there is a difference between good and evil although the views and opinions of what that looks like vary greatly. Hence, the standards of humans are flawed and biased. Christ Jesus however, was and is perfect, and according to the worldview of a Christ-follower, God Himself has established the standard of perfection, and it is an unattainable standard by mankind. It is for this reason that the son of God was manifest, to seek and save that which was lost. For someone as yourself to boldly claim that faith is a hindrance is an utterly ignorant statement because it is made from the standpoint of faithlessness. You can’t understand faith unless you have first been exposed to it. It would be like me schooling you on an area you have trained at, practiced, and are a thriving professional in your whole adult life and which I know little to absolutely nothing about. If you want to put forth statements like you have, may I encourage you to first have some insight and understanding to the position of faith, which I can most assuredly say you know absolutely nothing about.

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  • Sailosi Tarai

    I am sure this comment of mine will reach the hearts of the true Seekers of GOD’s kingdom and HIS righteousness.

    Porn is an industry entrenched in spirituality. The reasons provided by the writer of this article is correct in a literal sense.

    The porn industry is an agent of Lucifer. Although the reasons why girls become porn stars are the ones given in the articles, it is also because of the lack of spiritual guidance they receive. This allows Lucifer to steal, kill and destroy them by offering them comfort in this world in the form of prosperity. By providing temporary satisfaction of the flesh and keeping the children of the kingdom focused on the image of the beast – which is the worldly system. this is known through the story of Daniel. The World keeps us so busy, that if we don’t bow down to its system of Rule, we will burn in the heat of Life. But keep in mind, this is only for the children of the Kingdom.

    This world is filled with two types of people. Mankind, which is the offspring of Father Adam His Eminence, and Humanity, which is not the offspring of father Adam (H.E). By offspring i don’t mean physically, i am referring to the spiritual offspring (the children of Abraham). The Porn Industry is run by agents of Lucifer. These are Tare Angels (Not lighted by GOD) and many porn actors/actresses are tares as well (NOT lighted by GOD). Angels have the power to transform into humans and animals. So it is even possible that the porn star you are watching, is an angel transformed. And, they don’t even hide it! Look at the titles of the Porn businesses with Angel in the title. (Gen 6). It is these Tares that lead children of the Kingdom into Porn. Anything that defiles the creations of GOD – the Body, which is the temple, or the spirit, which is from GOD is not of GOD.

    Not all humanity is Lighted by GOD, and these are the Tares. GOD has done this to make Lucifer think that he is winning the souls of the living, when in fact, he is only receiving the souls of the dead, because their was no life in them to begin with (spirit from GOD). There is no salvation for a tare, they were born dead, without the life of GOD. These are the ones that spiritually run this industry.

    It is the reason why children of the kingdom, that were porn stars, leave when they are found by GOD. Because it is not religion they find, it is GOD’s voice they hear calling them saying “come out of there”! While the children that are not lighted by GOD won’t ever hear his Voice, because GOD’s Spirit is not in them to begin with. GOD is faithful. He will not leave his children, or leave any of his children behind! He would leave 99 to save 1! Therefore, any children of the kingdom that are enslaved by this spiritual agent of Lucifer, Will be freed from bondage and return to GOD.

    This spiritual Deception leads millions astray, not only the ones that participate it in, but also the ones that watch it. It is a spiritual addiction, not a physical one. Our spirits are kept in bondage by the desires of the flesh. Although porn is a desire of the flesh, it has a spiritual hold on you. Many of these actresses are agents of Lucifer. They Joke about hell because they don’t fear GOD. They defile their bodies because they are dust. They love life now because they did not descend from Heaven, they ascended from the abyss. This Life is the best they will ever have. When children of the kingdom watch PORN, they allow this spiritual bondage to take control.

    Praise GOD creator of Heaven and Earth, and of the firmament and of the seas. GOD the father of Father Adam (H.E), God of father Abraham, of father Isaac, and of Father Jacob. Praise God who delivers HIS children from Evil. Praise GOD who heals the sick. Praise GOD who paid the price of all SIN so that we could be with him in Heaven. I pray for the beloved in Christ, for all his children. For GOD is faithful and has saved them all. I pray for the souls of the living, because by the power in the WORD of GOD, they are saved and will not taste death until the second coming of our supreme LORD JESUS CHRIST. Amen.

  • tyler

    I just wish this world wasn’t so screwed up, It makes it hard to keep believing in God when things have gotten so bad, but we need there to be a God because the thought of not having a God is unbearable. I look around this world and I’m horrified by what I see,(especially things like human trafficking, abuse, and the amount of suffering people go through) and porn makes me horrified of this person I never wanted to be, the thought of what I seem to contribute to just by looking at it through a search engine or briefly going to a site horrifies me to no end. Porn draws me to my lowest points, it even makes me want to kill myself at times, I try to stay away and sometimes I can for months, but I don’t know completely why I go back to it.
    I remember one time seeing video of this young girl sitting on a couch being interviewed by this guy who started out asking questions like “what’s your name, what’s your age, where you from” but before she could answer he said, “I don’t care. I just want to F… you,” she smiled and giggled and I just slammed my laptop shut, horrified as I sat there thinking how it just sums up the whole industry, they just don’t care who these girls are or what impact they have on them or their familys they just want to fulfill their lust and make money. I hate the innocence it is obsessed with robbing from girls and young women; I hate how objectifies women; I hate the long term physiological damage it causes; I hate that some of these girls and women might be forced into it or cohered by things like drugs and there’s just plenty that worries me. You can hear the claims people from the industry make but I don’t think they are completely honest with even themselves, I remember listening to an interview where a women talked about how it was a fulfilling career path but then when asked if she wanted her daughter to get into the industry her attitude quickly changed. It must be hard for some of the parents of these daughters and I’m sure they ask themselves plenty of why questions and I truly hope there hopes (or prayers for those who haven’t given up on prayer) of seeing their daughters live a better life are fulfilled.
    But what of the impact of the viewers, how does it reshape us, they say it desensitizes people, even making viewers seek more violent porn as time goes on because it gets harder and harder to get the drug-like high from it. I know the impact and the time-loss from it has done nothing good for my life and left me filled with regret.
    I never really had a girl friend or even kissed anyone, but I tried a couple times and it made me realize how undesirable I truly am; you don’t stay single for 34 years without good reason. I guess that’s part of why I turn to it from time to time? But its not a good excuse and I’m afraid there’s a tendency that goes beyond that. It may take an act of God to end such a industry, but its hard to see how even God could make this world not so screwed up, but we really need such a God who some day will. It’s tragic how it takes things getting as bad as the time of Noah, tribulation, and the whole world blaspheming the name of God for things to be made right, you’d think there’d be a better way.

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