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8 Reasons My Husband Won’t have Sex with Me

by Craig Gross on April 10th, 2017 in Couples, Spouses, Featured

8-reasons-wifeWhen I wrote a blog post called “8 Reasons My Wife Won’t Have Sex With Me” I got a lot of great feedback from it and it was viewed over 300,000 times on the first day alone. But one question I kept hearing afterward was: “Could you write one for women and explain to me why my husband won’t have sex with me?

Sure. Sounds easy.

Right?

I asked a few friends for answers, and most of us just scratched our heads. Men who don’t want to have sex? Overwhelmingly, we heard this was the case and women wanted answers.

Now, I don’t speak from experience on this one. I am always up for sex, so I looked for thoughts on this topic from some friends, including Dave Wilson, Adam Palmer, Shaunti Feldhahn, Dave Willis and Jon Kitna.

Just like my first post, this is not a definitive list by any means; I’m putting it out there to hopefully encourage you talk about this stuff with your spouse. If you can be honest and open with your spouse about your sex life, you can often get to the bottom of this without even reading this blog. If you don’t know how to talk to each other, enlist a counselor to help you learn how to communicate.

Before I hit the list, let me offer a couple of statistics:

A recent survey of couples discovered that those who said they were fulfilled sexually had sex on average 2.5 times a week. So that’s something to think about (especially how you can get that 0.5 every week).

According to a 2003 Newsweek study, between 15% and 20% of couples are living in a sexless marriage, defined as making love no more than 10 times a year. While sex is not the be-all, end-all to a marriage, it is definitely one of the best ways to maintain intimacy.

Okay, now let’s look at the list of 8 reasons your husband won’t have sex with you:

1. No  Man Wants To Have Sex With His Mom. This is all about respect.   No man wants to have sex with a wife who is constantly mothering him. If you are always on him, critiquing and complaining about what he does or doesn’t do, then he’d probably rather have sex with himself because he knows you aren’t satisfied with his performance in the bedroom, either. There’s a lot more where that came from.

2. He Doesn’t Feel Wanted. Men want to be wanted. In Shaunti Feldhahn’s book For Women Only, 66% of men said it is very important that they feel wanted by their spouse. Getting sex wasn’t enough by itself—just like wives want to be wanted, husbands also want to be wanted.  Your desire for him is a huge foundation that helps him have confidence in his daily life. I also talked about this in the last post a bit, the games couples play with sex about who initiated last time and all that. If there have been times before in your marriage where you have turned him down, then he just might not have the guts to initiate sex out of fear of rejection. I mentioned this last week and said that this was his issue and he needs to lead, but hopefully this helps you understand why he is not wanting sex and it could be he doesn’t want to get rejected again.

3. He’s Dealing With Medical Issues or Depression. It’s very possible your husband has some kind of medical issue or depression that he just doesn’t want to deal with. We men… we tend to be pretty terrible about acknowledging our weaknesses, even when they’re affecting us and making us lose our appetite for sex. As some of you know, I was sick for months this past year. One of the medicines I decided to take (out of the several that were prescribed) knocked me out at nighttime and left me barely able to wake up in the morning. I noticed that if I took this pill before bed, I had no desire for sex and couldn’t even get it up. Yeah. My wife actually laughed when this happend and then I grabbed the bottle from the bathroom and showed her that was a side effect of the medicine. That was the last day on that medicine. Anyway, there are several different issues your husband could be dealing with medically that effect his sex life and drive. It might be time for a trip to the doctor.

4. Flannel Pajamas Suck. Let’s just be honest: guys are visual and if you aren’t putting any effort into what you look like and making the bedroom an incredible place to be, then he might not be turned on. Life happens—aging, pregnancy, illness, weight gain—you’re not going to look the way you did when you two first met. Fortunately, the deeper we love someone, the less importance we place on the exterior and the more we focus on the interior. That said: It doesn’t hurt to put in a little extra effort to look nice for your hubby. Sometimes even a small change can make a big impact, like resisting the urge to put on ratty sweats as soon as you get home, wearing a cute outfit instead of frumpy jeans for a night out, or actually putting on some of the “sexy” lingerie you’ve bought. My friend Shaunti and I are writing a book called Visual, talking about the visual nature of men, and she mentions men’s “visual rolodex” (or to update it: “visual hard drive”) in her book For Women Only. Wives should be the default image on their husband’s visual hard drive, so make a commitment to take care of yourself as best as you can—maybe you’ll inspire your husband and the two of you can work together to get a healthier lifestyle—both physically and emotionally—and make yourselves visually exciting for each other.

(71.3% of men in the U.S are obese or overweight compared to 68% of women. So, guys you got to work on this even more then your wives)

It will pay off big-time when you’re naked in bed with the lights on.

x3-fighting-for-my-marriage-facebook-105. You Pay More Attention To Facebook than to Him. Maybe this is just me, but it seems like most men I know are done with Facebook. If it isn’t Facebook, it will be something else next week but come on, already. The comments, the posts the likes, the shares… put the damn thing down for a bit and connect with the person in your bed. Words with Friends, Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, and all these other things have crept into our bedrooms and become a distraction. Now, guys are not immune to this problem – in my house it’s ESPN and my “girlfriend” (my wife’s nickname for my laptop), so make an agreement that, after the kids go to bed, you put everything away and try and connect with each other.

6. He’s Getting It Somewhere Else. Studies show that most (not all) guys need sex every three days or less. If you aren’t having sex anywhere close to this frequency, then I would have to wonder where else he is getting it—either through an affair or through porn. Don’t go hiring someone from the television show Cheaters just yet, but do have a frank discussion with him about the possibility. Most guys or gals will lie when confronted as well, so these are not just easy conversations to ask once and just accept it and move on. Dive into this and get to a place of honesty—and don’t be afraid to enlist a trusted counselor for help if you need it. (And if it’s porn, we can help. Here are some resources you can check out to point him to that help.

7. His Walls Are Up. In the same way that wives can put up walls, so can husbands. While men tend to be fairly good at compartmentalizing their needs, it’s still possible for an issue to build up to the point where it creates a wall. It can be a major issue in your relationship or just in your personal life that affects the two of you relationally, spiritually, or physically. It could be your own depression or physical health, or a change in character that has him wondering what’s going on. Whatever it is, look for signals to talk about it, then run toward that conflict and deal with it. It may be hard, but it’s worth it. Talk. Listen. Then listen some more. Own up to anything you might need to take responsibility for, and remember you’re in this together.

8. He’s English and Prefers Gardening to Sex

I hope this helps. I really hate to see married folks not having sex—even terrible sex is better than no sex. And if your sex is terrible, that just means you get to practice more!

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  • S

    Good

  • barbara

    Or he is addicted to porn. I always wore negligees to bed, made myself available. To a porn addict, you can never be enough. You can never be as exciting as the porn stars and are always found lacking. It kills your self esteem and I don’t think you can ever recover. I know I won’t.

    • Truth&LoveWin

      Barbara, I am so sorry. I have been there and it hurts so deeply. It is very hard not to take personally. The one thing that held me together was that I knew my worth and value come from who I am in Yeshua (Jesus). If you are a believer, I urge you to pray for your husband and marriage. It is a spiritual battle, read Ephesians 6:10-18. You cannot control your spouse, but you can always pray. And don’t forget to pray especially for his wife, you. Don’t give up hope for him or for you. Praying for your spiritual healing and for repentance and forgiveness for your spouse.

    • luz

      So true what you wrote! Im with you on this one!

    • Just that girl

      I understand.

    • Partners for Purity

      Sadly this happens a lot. Please know you are in no way to blame for his porn addiction and you are enough! It’s his sin, he is trapped in a web of lies and can not see the beautiful gift God has given him.
      You can recover, I used to think I couldn’t either but God’s grace is amazing!
      Don’t grow weary praying for your marriage.
      Ill pray for you too.

  • Youth Culture Report

    ….”Or he is addicted to porn”

  • Marriage Evergreen

    Sex is one of the bedrock of successful marriage. Couple should pray that nothing whatsoever should come in between their sex life. Once there is a crack in this bedroom affairs, other negative issues follows which may end up bringing down the marriage.

  • old and tired

    Or, he simply is ashamed of his wife (me) and wants to just make me go away. Mine has a secret hatred of me, I think. He never takes me out – even to a movie or dinner. He won’t do anything with me at all. Everything is an excuse not to be seen with me. When we are in public he stays as far away from me as possible, and he apparently thinks I am disgusting. Apparently, I am just too old and too fat for his tastes. I am the same weight I was when we married, but now it seems to be an issue. He never comes out and says anything, but there is that look of disgust that hurts so terribly bad. This does not stop him from taking money, food, housing, clothing, etc. from me since he has no job and doesn’t want one. I have asked for a divorce, but he ignores that too. To him, I am nothing. He has his obsessions and outside of that I am just there to take care of his domestic needs. Sex, is not something he cares about with me. Not sure if he is getting it elsewhere, but I know that this is making me feel like such a failure at everything. Nothing worse than being in a love-less, sex-less marriage where only one person is receiving and the other person is forced to give everything. I just want all this to be over. I’m too old and tired to do this any more.

    • Mathias Bjorkman

      i am sorry for what you have been caught up in. Your husband seem like a complete jerk. Go talk to a lawyer if you want a divorce. Don’t ask your husband. Go and file it and force his hand. Normally I don’t approve of divorce but his behavior seem abusive.

      • John

        The Bible never endorses divorce for abusive behavior. There are 2 reasons:
        1) your spouse is an unrepentant adulterer and will not come back to you (Matthew 19)
        2) you were both unbelievers. You convert, but your spouse wants nothing to do with you and abandons you (1 Corinthians 7)

        Read the book Boundaries in Marriage. Stop enabling your husband’s bad behavior and hold him accountable. Follow through on consequences that matter to him. If he won’t agree to counseling, then bring a third party to request counseling. Follow the Matthew 18 principles of conflict resolution. Put boundaries on your own bad behavior.

        You have allowed obsessions to creep into your home. Start fighting it with things other than nagging and “you need to” speeches. Make clear expectations and follow through with consequences if those expectations are not met. You likely don’t really know how to do this, so get some good supportive friends to help you be strong.

        You can win him back, but it will take work and intentionality.

        And Mathias, Jesus loves people who are complete jerks. He works to redeem them, not shuffle them off like a dirty rag when they disappoint Him. As a recipient of grace, I’m a little dumbfounded that you would recommend a person withholding grace. Shame on you.

        • Pass The Deutschy

          John whereas I am not an advocate for divorce I think your comment is judgmental and unhelpful. Also God hates a man who beats his wife so yes I do think God would allow divorce in such a situation because He is not cruel. This woman knows the pain in her life she doesn’t need you dumping on her with your blame and condemnation. You don’t even know what you’re talking about.

          • Shhhh

            God allows us to do anything. He gives us free will to make choices. If we make a decision to get a divorce, we can’t assume God takes a look at our profile, crumples it up and rolls it in a ball and tosses it into a garbage can… We are sinners. Divorce is a sin.. we are forgiven of our sins, past, future or present. They were all nailed to the cross…

        • Sweetpea Chickpea

          John are you speaking for the welfare of someone else or are you preaching your own beliefs? Trustworthy counsellors step away from the second, and wait for advice to be asked for, then they respond with what has been asked for. This isn’t the pulpit.

    • Jane Brown

      I hope you got your issues resolved. I have been married 3 times now my third marriage is on the rocks so I’m having to come to terms that it’s probably me at fault. I am resisting the urge to commit adulty as I have always resorted to that in the past but it’s not the answer. I too am too old to even care properly why he doesn’t want me anymore. I feel like I’ve been chucked on the scrap heap.

  • Pat Graham

    How about this one…(it’s mine). She’s said NO too many time, plus did too much foul shit, threw dirt on your name in the street, and yet still wants you to bow down to her every wish. Yeah, she no longer gets me hard…but her friends does 😉

  • Just that girl

    Im just tired of trying. We have a sexless marriage. I guess I have to just accept it the way it is…..because it will never change. 5 years is long enough to wait for change. I would rather die than do this anymore.

  • Look @ her

    Heh! If you have a husband that does not have sex with you then that man is using sex to control you and the relationship. You don’t need a list of reasons why he won’t have sex you with. Believe me; no amount of counseling, talking, changing (beautifying yourself, being extra nice, being loving, cooking his favorite meal, doing what he wants, etc) will make him have sex with you. And anyone who tells you differently is lying to you. He is not having sex with you because he does not want to, period! – Unless there is a true medical condition. If he has a medical condition, then he needs to change his diet, exercise, and de -stress and you need to help with all those things. But for all other women, listen up! Think, before you married him [or in the very beginning of your marriage] things were wonderful, even magical. You know it was. So, why the change? He likes feeling in control. Also, chances are you are not married to an alpha male. Men need to feel like that are in control to feel manly and if any part of your relationship takes that manliness away he will get it back anyway he can. If you did not care about sex, then it would be something else he would use to control you, for example, money. He is being abusive. Withholding sex is a form of abuse – yes it is!
    But women want to hear some reason to make themselves feel less worse. But if you really want the truth here it is. He is purposely not having sex with you – the truth hurts. And don’t believe the lies he tells you. He is not a sex-starved husband either, like you are a sex-starved wife. He is getting sex, believe me. But where? (1) Porn and masturbation (2) another woman (3) another man – yes he could be gay. Like I said, the truth hurts. Who cares why he is getting sex from one of the three places I mentioned above, the point is he is. If your husband falls into category 1 or 2, and you still love your husband and want to stay married to him then here is what you do:
    1. Take all of your control back, I mean ALL of it. Stop everything you are doing to make him happy. For example, cooking, cleaning, being there for him, arguing with him. If you have children and cook and clean for family you can do so, but don’t serve him his food, wash everyone’s clothes except his, etc. You get the point.
    2. If you have let yourself go and looking like a drag, stop it right now! I don’t care how old you are, what your size, take yourself to the store and get your makeup in order, buy yourself a few new outfits – none of which has to be expensive. Start dressing and looking like you would if you were single and looking for a hot guy. I don’t mean looking cheap or desperate either.
    3. Stop asking for sex, stop arguing with him, be extra nice (even if you have to fake it at first) in your interactions with him, but just don’t do anything that makes him happy (see number 1).
    The point of doing the above is not to get him to have sex with you. Remember he is not having sex with you because he does not want to. And if you do it only to trick him into having sex with you it will not work and you will just feel hurt again. The point of doing it is to take your CONTROL back from him. If he wants control, then he must get it the proper way, not by abusing you. And what about sex? Sister, you have three choices:
    1. Pleasure yourself
    2. Cheat
    3. Leave him
    Take your pick. If you cannot do any of the above then tough!!! Stop liking sex will be your only other choice. Don’t reply saying that I am endorsing infidelity, I am not, I am simply stating the options available in life we can choose to participate or not. What you do is between you and your God.
    And if your husband is gay, then dump him ASAP. No other commentary needed.
    The audacity of these husbands! Hah, not on my watch….
    Once you master the three steps I listed above, he will notice and so will other men. You don’t have to act on other men noticing, but it will be confirmation that it is not your fault and there is nothing wrong with you. Once you get it through your head that you are the one with the control, then he will have two choices, behave accordingly or lose even the last bit of control he was holding on to, “withhold sex from you”.
    No man can tell you what to do to get your husband to have sex with you. Why? Because if they man is being honest he will first admit that nothing you do will MAKE him have sex with you if he just does not want to or using sex to control you. And NO, I do not hate men. And yes, I am a Christian. A yes, I am a woman and married, and speaking from experience. I love myself more than I love my husband. You cannot love someone else if you don’t know what it feels like to love yourself. Yes, I love my husband, however I have certain things that I don’t put up with!!!! Love has nothing to do with it. Love is what makes your stay with your husband, because you love him as an imperfect person. But please ladies don’t mistake love for abuse.
    Love does not hurt! People do…

    • Heather

      I love this reply! Thank you for being real! Bravo! This advice is really helpful to me. I honestly pray that God blesses you and your family.

    • A Christian woman advising cheating or leaving to resolve sexual issues is one that is following the world and not the Word.

      • Pass The Deutschy

        A “Christian” woman.

    • Coco

      Thx for saying what it is! A form of abuse unless a medical condition!

  • Jen

    You absolute prick! You have blamed the wife for all of this!

    • Jennie

      Jen, this is the second blog in a series. The first one was “Reasons my wife won’t have sex with me”. He’s not blaming the wife nor the husband; simply offering suggestions and scenarios for both parties.

      • All Things New

        You have seriously under-played and over-simplified a serious and painful problem. It is devastating. I almost think it would have been better to post nothing because it seems as if the author speaks of what he does not know or understand. I hope the magnitude of this problem is becoming evident in these comments.

  • April

    I am lucky if my husband decides to have sex with me. It’s about once every three months. I’ve tried everything. Dressing up, lingerie, spontaneous acts, treating him like gold, even arguing hoping for make up sex. I’ve made time for us alone, even talking about it. I’ve told him how I feel. We are together a lot. We work together. But I give him a lot of time alone. I’m pretty laid back. He can do what he wants when he wants. Im positive he’s not cheating on me though. He doesn’t watch porn anymore. And when we do have sex, it’s seriously like 2 min long. It’s been this way for about 2 yrs now. But the frustrating thing is he will go all day long joking with me and touching me and talk about sex and even tell me he wants it and needs it. But when I try, I’m turned down every time! I am almost at my breaking point. I “take care of” my needs myself. I haven’t gained any weight. My appearance hasn’t changed any. He had an affair for 2 yrs of our marriage. We’ve been married 5. We worked through it. But he has barely touched me since. Why? What can I do?

    • Have y’all tried counseling. Based on what you’re saying, it sounds like there’s an issue that has nothing to do with you.

    • Sallen777

      Wow April. You sound like a winner. I could only wish for a wife like you. My wife and I have been married 27 years. Unlike you, my wife put on at least 60lbs over the course of three years. That was 7 years ago. I have always been in good physical shape. She was 49 and I was 51 at the time. Regardless, I was still crazy about her. When we had sex, which was maybe 1 to 2 times a month, she wanted sex only in one position, which became very boring over the years. Anytime I suggested or tried to vary our position she said she didn’t want to. She always wanted oral sex fro me (which I am great at) and I was glad to please her. Over time she refused to reciprocate because she said her jaw hurt, but wanted me to continue to orally please her. One night when we were having sex in the only position she would do (this time with the lights dim instead of lights off like we usually had sex ) I saw the look on her face, which I wouldn’t have seen if the lights were off. The look on her face let me know she hated it. I felt horrible inside and immediately stopped. I told her I sensed she hated it. She told she didn’t ever like sex and didn’t want sex at all anymore. She never said that before we were married. Not wanting the devastating guilt of being made to feel as if I was making her do something she didn’t want to do, I realized I couldn’t have sex with her ever again because that look was branded on my mind and those words left a gash so deep in my heart that will never heal. She’s knew what she was saying; and, she knows me well enough that once she said those words to me that sex would be forever over between her and I. Several weeks later, when my normal cheerful, positive mood was no more she claimed she didn’t mean what she said that night, but the damage was done. It has been seven years and we haven’t had sex since that night. I am deeply resentful of her. I feel defrauded by her. I feel like she misrepresented herself to me during a big chunk of my life. I feel like the lady I married doesn’t care a lot about me or my needs. I used to bust my rear-end in my business life to give us a better life so we could travel places and do fun and sexy things. Plus, knowing that most most men die on average several years before their wives, my objective was to leave my wife with a comfortable nest egg so she could be more than comfortable. That went out the door with her announcement that she didn’t want sex anymore and never liked it anyway. Over the past seven years, when a new business opportunity would pop-up, which could mean more money, I would give it some thought, but when I considered that it would mean harder work for me and more stress on my part, for a wife who didn’t want to have sex and misled me all those years, I found myself always asking myself “why bother?”. I purposefully passed up every business opportunity I had over the past seven years and I have no regrets about it. My tip to you April, and any other women reading this, is try to keep the sex and love-making interesting for your husband. Don’t withhold sex from your husband. If he likes a certain position then accommodate him. If he likes oral sex don’t say “no” if he pleases you that way in return. And, whatever you do don’t take away the very reason he is driven in life because you may be the person who suffers the most in the long run.

  • James Vowell

    What studies are cited when you mention in reason 6 when you say men need sex every three days or less? I’m not trying to be inflammatory, I am legitimately curious where I can find them so I can see what other correlations or anecdotal evidence they’ve found to support that claim.

    • elladeon

      I don’t know if this is what the author is referring to, but I have heard that it’s based on the pressure from sperm build up. There is a physical feeling of “needing” release about 72 hours after having sex. That changes with age and also it varies between men (obviously) but that’s the average.

  • #4 is the one I hope my wife can better understand. She is so sweet
    & innocent and doesn’t realize how turned on I am visually. I’m sure her fuzzy socks are super comfortable, but they make me go soft :/

  • ARoseli

    Also, may I expand on #5 and say that Facebook and other “social networks” are a hotbed for rekindled connections with past relationships and both men AND women MUST guard their hearts against encroaching feelings and urges to reconnect to those we previously had emotional ties to. (Or also new sparks of feelings towards people as well.)

    I am coming across more and more marriages and relationships completely undermined by the free access to look up and reconnect with old flames. Especially in today’s culture, as married couples, we have to be evermore diligent in finding ways to prevent our minds from straying from what is right and true.
    We must remember what Jesus said about our hearts and our commitment; It holds true for wives as well.

    Matthew 5:28 (NLT): “But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

    Keep your eyes focused on Him, and HE will give you the desires of your heart (PS 37:4)…in your marriage and your life!

  • BELA

    I AM BELA i want to give thanks and i will always give thanks to Dr Aluyama who brought back my love that has left me for 6years within 48hours, i have said about this last week but i promised to always tell people about this every week end so that those that did not read about it last week will read about it this week, i have been looking for how to get this boy back to my life because i love this boy with the whole of my heart, i could not replace him with any body,one day i was watching my television when i saw a lady giving thanks to Dr Aluyama and telling the world how he helped her i was so shocked i could not believe it because i never taught that there are powers that can bring back lost love, then that was how i decided to contact him too because i do really need my love back,when i contacted him i told him everything and he told me not to worry that my love will surely be back to my arms within 48hours at first i could not believe because i was thinking how could somebody that has gone for 6years come back within 48 hours,so then i decided to watch and see,unbelievable within the next 48hours i got a call from unknown number so i decided to pick the call the next thing i could hear was my loves voice he was pleading and begging me on the phone that i should forgive him that i should forget all that have happened that he did not know what came over him,he promised not to leave for any reason, that he was really sorry for what he did,i was so surprised because i never believed that this could happen,so that was how i accepted his apology and the next morning he came to my house and still pleading for me to forgive him i told him that everything is okay that i have forgiven him, that was how we started again and now we are married, i promised to say this testimony in radio station, commenting this testimony is still okay but before this month runs out i promise to say this in radio station and i will,sir thank you very much.World please am begging you people to try and thank this man for me,or if you need his help here is his email address: peterwisespellcast@gmail.com

  • Chizzy Peace

    Hello I am CHIZZY PEACE ,I am out here to spreed this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex love back.I was going crazy when my love left me for another girl last month, But when i meet a friend that introduce me to DR ADAGBA the great messenger to the oracle that he serve,I narrated my problem to Dr Adagba about how my ex love left me and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,In the next 2 days,My love called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact DR ADAGBA at the following email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on: adagbaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com. and get your problems solve like me….. ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS: adagbaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com

    • Pass The Deutschy

      Begone with your witchcraft and repent! Jesus Christ is Lord and more powerful than any witchdoctor or spell!

  • Shoro Niyenn Loalo

    I am full of happiness and delight, on the grounds that I have my significant other once more at my palm. My partner left me for just about 2 years. He doesn’t pick or even return my calls and sends I tried each approaches to get him back, however no way. Until I met with this extraordinary spell caster called Olorun Agbalazzy, who did magic for me to get him back in less than 42 hrs. I exhort anybody going to this site to run to him promptly for any relationship offer assistance. He is an extremely effective and experience spell caster you can get help from.you can contact this great man Dr Olorun Agbalazzy on his email OLORUNODUDUWASPIRITUALTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM

    • Pass The Deutschy

      Begone with your witchcraft and repent! Jesus Christ is Lord and more powerful than any witchdoctor or spell.

      • Sweetpea Chickpea

        Lol, Pass, I think you’re telling off an advert.

  • Martha Jones

    { Upon all that i claim to know about this world and its forces,only recently i got to understand that i really don’t know anything about anything. This world is bigger and meaner that how we picture it ti be. I mean where your own sister can have an affair with your husband with the intention of wanting to take your place and your family and still can say she loves you to to your face is pretty mean.I am glad met Obudun Magonata a spell caster at the time i did because i would never had confirm my suspicion about my husband and my sister. He help me uncover the truth that was withheld form me with his spell and his advice on how to go about the issue and how to get back my husband and save my marriage. My husband unfaithfulness was not new to me, i knew he always cheating on me with other ladies but he always came back to me no matter what he always did. As much as i could, i try a lot not to think about all he does because nothing hurts more than knowing that your husband is having an affair with someone else because she is younger or more sexy or thinks she is a better lover than you that bore his children. I could not leave because i loved him and knew he loved me too somewhere in his heart. We have been like this for six years now and wouldn’t have been able to say i was the happiest woman alive because really as much as we are talking about happiness i never knew marriages had happily ever after. Yeah some may say there is no such thing but believe me there is and Obudun Magonata helped me find it. I notice during our time together that my husband only get too careful when he is getting close to someone i may know or know most women know what i mean. Like he want to make you see he doesn’t have anything connection to that person but act it too much to make you realize that something is actually going between them and the person in question. It was my secret to know what he is up too when he is around ladies i know or may have just seen for the first time. that was how i knew my sister and my husband were up to something. But my sister being smart knew i had my suspicion did all in her power to hide the truth from me. I hoped to the blue sea that i was wrong that that nothing was going on being that my suspicious heart was messing with my head. I could not confirm it but in my heart i knew they were having an affair. I did all the framing of question stuff about cheating spouse and asking if she could do that but really no one fall for that. I could not confront her when i knew nothing because growing up we learnt before pointing a finger at family you must to h***bent sure about the situation and i was not sure or at least i nothing really that told me my thought are true. All my effort went south and my private investigator got nothing at all don’t know how that even happened. I explored all other option that failed also. But then ,for the first came across some comments in a lot of forums talking about the spell caster Obudun Magonata and the things he had done to help people and how it all worked out for them, contact him and pleaded with him to help me out. I needed to know what my husband and sister were up to. He confirmed that they were not only having an affair but she wanted my husband to leave me to be with her leaving me her sister heart broken in so may ways. He told me how they met and where they met that made my private investigation fail. And upon what Obudun Magonata told me i cut and their affair was all out in the wind.It broke my heart to know my husband and mostly my sister could really get involved with my husbands. I was mostly my sister i mean out of all the men in Chicago you pick your brother-in-law? i was hurt sad and mostly mad at my sister. Cos i love them both unconditionally how hard was it for them to love me back. Even with all that was going on my husband told me he was not sure if he still love me after 6 years o our marriage. I knew he was leaving me for my sister permanently he thought she was a better love than i was and there was nothing i could do about it at least that was what i thought. After so many hours of talking on the phone with Obudun Magonata tell him how i still want to save my marriage and wanted my husband to love me as i do him,he asked me put my hopes on him he was going to do a spell for me to fix all my problem. I provided some materials was needed for the spell as i was directed to do. He did the spell and i got a package from him its content was of how i as going to make the spell work and become effective. I follow every instruction and just after four day they ended their affair and grew this kind of hatred for themselves it was all over the place everyone could see what happened and as surprise as i was, i was also glad the spell also made my husband love be back selflessly just as did and still do. Obudun Magonata change my husband, made him mine again and help me fix my life. Obudun Magonata is my hero i mean i am forever in his debt but still he did not ask anything from me. Please Note all that was require of me was materials for the spell of which was able to get so he help me with the to cost i sent to without any form of persuasion. If you contact him for help maybe you will also need some materials for the spell. You can us this address to contact { spiritsofobudunmagonata at (yahoo) dot com } rewrite to standard form. }

  • Pass The Deutschy

    I am about three weeks away from a trial separation. My husband’s lack of intimacy is like a cruel joke. I was celibate for 15 years now I’m married to a man who doesn’t make sex a priority and more importantly doesn’t offer any reasons as to why. He’s not interested in porn or having an affair so none of the “classic” reasons. The lack of sex is changing my feelings towards him, I am becoming resentful and bitter about it because I feel angry that after waiting so long to be married I get a marriage that is just like being single. It’s not just the sex it’s all the romance and love that goes with it, it’s like he feels it’s optional! I think he has some hatred in his heart or some unforgiveness that he won’t let go of and that’s why he doesn’t automatically do nice things for our relationship, he was never very good at it but before he was better. Maybe time apart will make him reassess his priorities, ironic as we didn’t live together for the first five years of our marriage.

  • Emily Perry

    I got married September 2014. I was 25 and still a virgin. Was looking forward to finally expressing my sexual side to my husband. On our honeymoon, he turned me down. Twice. Told me I only married him for sex. I can count on 2 hands how many times we have had sex this year. I quit inittiating it, it was too embarrassing being turned down when i wanted to be close to him. Since I stopped suggesting/asking for sex, it went down to less than once a month. I know he watches porn. I tried talking to him about it and he just gets mad at me. But, I’m pretty sure its okay for me to be upset that my husband would rather masterbate to porn than have sex with me. I have no idea what to do, he seems pretty unwilling to see it as a divorce hazard. I dont want out, but i can only guess 5 years from now, I’m going to be exhausted from it.

    • Jelopy

      I feel you

    • All Things New

      This is grounds for annulment if you don’t want to get a divorce. Deal with this NOW, or you will be 20+ years into your marriage and probably a tired, washed up angry woman. By all means, do not bring children into this mess. This is very serious!! I have been where you are, and it’s very difficult. Excruciating!

    • Sallen777

      Get out now before you waste more of your life on him. You will never be happy unless you leave him. There are many, many men who would love to have a wife like you. Trust me. I know what I am talking about.

  • Roseann Sorrentino

    what about if you look at porn? that could be a reason why he doesn’t want to have sex with you either.

  • All Things New

    There is a LOT more to this issue than what you realize. I know many highly sexual (willing), attractive, married women who aren’t getting sex from their husbands. I finally found some answers from Doug Weiss, Ph.D. at Heart to Heart Counseling Center in CO. This problem is called “sexual anorexia” and it is highly destructive to a relationship due to its deeply rooted psychological issues. This subject deserves a more in-depth look because it is rampant among sex addicts who are UNWILLING to be physically intimate with their significant other. It is deeply distressing to the non-anorexic spouse!

    • Sweetpea Chickpea

      Yes, men need to be seen in all their God blessed complexity, opinions these days are troubling, gossip is a knife ?

  • Micah

    So, if a man needs sex every three days, what do u suggest to single men?

  • Freethinker02

    9. You’ve gotten fat and are physically unattractive.

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