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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
How long does it take junk mail to clear up after you stop viewing porn? I confronted my husband’s porn use three months ago. He said being accountable to me has kept him sober but his spam mail folder makes me doubt his truthfulness. It is still littered with the junk emails as before. I want to believe him, but he lied about his porn use for thirteen years. How can I gain his trust? How do I restore my trust in him?
He should probably get a new email. Once on a list that email address can get sold over and over and over again. If he is going through porn- spam on a regular basis then he is setting himself up for another fall.
With regards to trusting him again. Trust is not something that is automatic. Love is. We don’t withhold love but you can certainly withhold trust until it is earned. It takes time. He’s not going to be perfect and you will need to have the love of God in you to extend it and mercy. Be sure you are getting the accountability you need as well.
Hello. For almost five years I have been struggling with pornography. I have
already confessed, I sought advice and mentoring. I have also removed all
temptation that has been in my power, and have even identified the triggers
that lead me to fall. Right now I’m dating a wonderful girl, but she also suffers
from the same struggle with pornography. Their struggle is perhaps not as
strong as mine, and takes less time than me with this problem. But I wonder
What can we do as Christians in a dating relationship ?
What can I do as a Christian boyfriend who also fight against pornography to help her and the relationship?
What can she do as a Christian woman who suffers from this problem in front of his addict boyfriend?
Thank you.
It’s wonderful that you are concerned and care about this area of your relationship and want to preserve wholeness and purity.
Definitely keep the “dating” in public or with other couples. Make sure you both have same-gender accountability relationships established that you are sharing your successes and challenges with and not each other. Since you both have struggles in this area it is unwise to discuss the details of struggles that are sexual in nature.
And the obvious- pray for each other!
Sorry for confusion… yesterday, I did NOT leave the house. I didn’t look at porn, but I didn’t leave the house either. I think that I did not make clear our situation: my wife is hurting DEEPLY from her PTSD. Up until me signing this contract, my porn addiction was almost a daily thing at its worst. Sometimes once a week, sometimes twice a month, sometimes clean for awhile, but still, it was there. I FEEL LIKE I AM KILLING MY WIFE…. PLEASE HELP
But it is not a daily thing anymore. It is in my opinion that you focus on today. Today you are NINE WEEKS CLEAN. Perhaps you didn’t leave the house yesterday (I understood you were home sick) but you also stated you did not look at porn. I think the guilt of the past is eating you alive and perhaps you both just need to get into some marital counseling.
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