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I have had a pornography and masturbation addiction since the age of thirteen, it has been my biggest struggle. I have been in church my whole life but I have never asked for help. I want to be set free from this addiction and I know that Jesus can do that, I just need help on how to start and what steps I need to take.
Kudos to you for taking the first step– admitting there is a problem. Step two begins with action.
I would highly recommend that you go to our START HERE page and seek out the best scenario that fits your situation and download the suggested resources as there are so many. Spend time reading through the blogs as well as the comments because you will see that you are not alone in this battle.
Ok so this is what’s up, I have read the book Open and it is awesome but I am still having trouble finding an accountability partner. My church is small which makes it a little complicated so my options are limited. I am also a part of the leadership there which i feel is even more of a reason for me to find an accountability partner and fast. I don’t know any other women at my church who is or has struggled with Porn and this can cause me to feel alone and trapped at times. I am doing much better with my addiction after reading Pure Heart and setting up some healthy boundaries but I still feel like I need the accountability. It is too easy to fall back into sin when the only one who knows about it is you and God. Should I just open up to someone even if they don’t open up to me? I am kind of at a loss and am really not sure what I should do.
PS. I LOVE XXXChurch you have helped me out so much already! Thank you!!!
If you are in leadership at your church then I would hope that you have good relationships with other women in ministry. Yes, I would say pray and seek the one you feel is easy for you to talk to, trustworthy and reputable. 😉
You can also check out our X3groups– sometimes the women there bond with one another and you can find a good accountability friendship there. Our first choice would be someone in your sphere of influence that you could meet locally and face to face with but the groups have been quite successful!
My boyfriend admitted that he looked at porn a couple of times a month ago. He told me right when it happened. He apologized and put up blockers on his computer and phone and has accountability with other men. I am not sure why it is affecting me so much but I cannot stop thinking that I am not good enough or that he is always looking at other girls. I know he dealt with it correctly but I can’t keep thinking of him poorly in my mind. How do I restore my view of him? I know it is now my own insecurities causing me pain but how do I become confident again?
It sounds like you have a better understanding of this than you may realize.
You said “I know it is now my own insecurities causing me pain but how do I become confident again?”
I would say that the best way to combat your own insecurities is to take your eyes off of yourself, off of your boyfriend and put them on Jesus. When we compare ourselves to the world and the lies we will always be disappointed, jealous, envious, angry and bitter. But when we measure ourselves against the Cross, we should be humbled. Completely humbled. It is hard to raise ourselves above others and look down on them when we are looking at ourselves in comparison to the Cross.
I would also suggest that you are proactive in your own encouragement and building yourself up by reading some good reads: Captivating by Stasi Eldridge is a good place to start.
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