Questions


Frequently Asked Questions.

Pornography & masturbation

I need help. I clearly remember masturbating at the age of 3 or 4.. Yes, I can’t understand it neither.. Nor did I understand it at the time. But it’s been this hell of a journey everysince then.. I haven’t stopped, it has just gotten worse. At the age of about 13 when the internet fever started, so did pornography.
Oh & I forgot to mention I have grown up in church & now in my 20s I have been having a delightful relationship with God.. I love being in his presence and growing spiritually.. But there has always been this struggle of mine, and it always pulled me back. I was able to stop for a year after I had an amazing encounter with God and promised I would stop.. A year later I failed him once again. It was so heartbreaking because I thought I had finally overcome this addiction.. And everytime I mess up again I feel that I will NEVER overcome this.. And it kills me inside. I don’t want to feel this way anymore.. I need help. Thank you.

Have you visited out start here section?  There are so many resources there and suggestions for first steps.

You are not alone and freedom IS possible but you have to put the right things in place.  Check out those resources and really pursue freedom by being proactive in setting up the right boundaries, accountability and steps.

Best wishes.

Pornography addiction

I have had a pornography and masturbation addiction since the age of thirteen, it has been my biggest struggle. I have been in church my whole life but I have never asked for help. I want to be set free from this addiction and I know that Jesus can do that, I just need help on how to start and what steps I need to take.

Thank you.

Kudos to you for taking the first step– admitting there is a problem.  Step two begins with action.

I would highly recommend that you go to our START HERE page and seek out the best scenario that fits your situation and download the suggested resources as there are so many.   Spend time reading through the blogs as well as the comments because you will see that you are not alone in this battle.

 

 

Women

My question isn’t directly about porn. but I have struggles with looking up sites and pages that display magazine models and (although not naked tho some of these places show both) namely urban models like video vixens and so on. I have a girl I’m pursuing and although I know I want to be with her it confuses me as to why I look up these pages. The women are beautiful and all but it’s only for lust after their beauty. I’m stuck because I love my girl very much and wouldn’t want her to feel as though she’s not pretty enough or look like these models I look up. I need help as to how to tell her and others I trust in the faith? I need help how to navigate through this. Please and thank you

I need help as to how to tell her and others I trust in the faith? I need help how to navigate through this.

 

First, good for you.  Good for you that you desire to be transparent and have accountability in your life and relationships.   I have a few recommendations for you.

Two books:

1. Through a Man’s Eyes by Craig Gross & Shaunti Feldhahn I think will help you both understand how men are wired better.   This is not to get a free pass on compromising your integrity with regards to the seeking out other women– it just helps to explain the draw better.

2. Open by Craig Gross.   This book really details how accountability relationships should work. What they are meant to be and what they are not meant to be.  Helpful discussions and tips on how to talk about the stuff that is uncomfortable.

Lastly– we have so many resources at XXXchurch.com but you may want to start in the Start Here section.

 

Best wishes.

 

 

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