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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
Working through my addiction, I understand the things I should keep far from my mind. I wonder, however, if fantasizing about my wife is okay. Lots of times, I’ll visualize her wearing only a bra and panties (or less). I also daydream about the two of us having sex. I understand the whole point of marriage is that I have one person with whom I can do these wonderful things, but is fantasizing about them only fueling my addiction?
I think this is a tough one for me to answer because there are some that would say any type of fantasy is still not including your wife and is focused inward. Personally though (and it’s just that- my opinion) I see nothing wrong with your mind being fixed on your wife when you are apart. You are taking delight in her and in what awaits you when you come back together again in the marriage bed. Now… where your fantasy goes from there is the question. If it causes you to act out in self pleasure then what benefit is it to your marriage bed or to the intimacy you share with your wife? So again- there is really more to this question than just a blanket answer.
Hello, thought it was a safe place to come here & ask. I have been seeing a guy for a couple of months. I can see he struggles with lust. He comes from a different cultural background to me (I’m Australian) He’s admitted that in his past, in his home country numerous partners at one time was accepted. He talks about watching lots of “movies “which are ‘nice & relaxing.’ When I ask which ones he can never give me a specific.name. I try to have boundaries physically as I am waiting till after marriage to fully enjoy sexual experiences. He continues to joke, flirt, touch and try push my limit. He’s even commented “What’s your angry face?” Or makes comments about other ‘beautiful women’. I have family who have struggled with porn addiction and I am afraid this guy does too. I am really scared that I can’t trust him. How do I confront this fear, and or discuss my concerns with him? I understand sexual addictions have a very strong hold & I feel like I’m in over my head. He does not even admit to a problem but comments his ‘heart is black’ in some areas. We are both Christians & God is teaching me stacks about grace, forgiveness and trust.. What support is there or resources for partners of men who struggle with this? Any advice on how to start talking about it & or when to get out of the relationship before it get’s too ugly? I am ready to run at any point!
If you are ready to run, I say run!! Any man that pushes your boundaries is not the kind of man I think you want to deal with or “train”.
Clearly you have more than one RED flag going up— what are you waiting for?
What support is there for spouses? I was hoping to find a spouse group on your site, but I did not see one. I am supporting a friend that has no idea how to handle her husbands sexual addiction – he is at a treatment center and she is devastated. She is struggling finding anything to support what she is going through and I was hoping to direct her to a group or other supporting contacts on this site.
We do have an entire section for spouses with blogs, resources and so much more. If you are looking for a group you may want to consider the X3groups for spouses. Counseling for wives is also available through a 4 month program that Pure Life Ministries offers.
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