Questions

Frequently Asked Questions.

divorce, sex, marriage, cohabitation

I’m a 31 year old divorced man with two kids. I have a girlfriend that I’ve been dating for about 6 months now who has a child of her own, and we’re planning on getting married in the near future (though no date has been set). My question is: is it explicitly, biblically wrong for us to move in together before marriage? We have discussed it at length lately and both feel it would be financially beneficial, as well as fulfilling our desire to be together all the time. We are both Christians, and have been taught that such cohabitation is wrong by the church, yet there are times that the church gets it wrong…
The both of us have many Christian friends who have cohabitated before marriage or are doing so now, and lead healthy, spiritual lifestyles. I’m just not convinced that it would fall under the biblical definition of sexual immorality for two adults who are in love and intend to marry to move in together before it’s made official on paper.

Living together is not something that is explicitly defined as sin in the Bible but premarital sex is. Therefore, the question of living together is not so much a question of wrong or right but rather wise vs. unwise.

If you are living together then there will most likely be far more temptation to do other things together. Also, statistics show that couples who’ve lived together prior to marriage have a much higher divorce rate than those who haven’t.

If you really want to examine the scriptures that you embrace as a believer, one that always stands out to me is in 1 Thessalonians 5 vs 22 about the “appearance of evil”. In other words– is living together going to glorify God in your lives and to others in your sphere of influence? Some people don’t care about responsibility to others and to the contribution they have in the faith of others, but it is something to consider whether that is meaningful to you as a Christian. Others in your sphere of influence are obviously your children and her child— just giving you something to think about because the children will be shaped by what is “home” to them— to them it will be OK and are you OK with your children in cohabitation before marriage? (Just taking in the big picture here.)

Oh how I wish I would have modeled things differently for my children when they were younger.

Beliefs

Hey all! I’ve found all the resources on this website absolutely fantastic! I was just wondering, as a believer, I try to find out what exactly the beliefs of any christian website are, so I was just wondering, what are your beliefs regarding Jesus and God? Thanks for all of the resources and support by the way 🙂

Thanks for your support! We’re glad to hear that the resources have been helpful to you. If you click on “About Us” and then Click on “X3Jesus“, we share what we believe about Jesus.

engagement

I have been dating the love of my life for 4 years. I have her father’s blessing to marry her, and she knows I battle a porn addiction. My question it’s how long should I be porn sober before I propose; to have peace of mind before hand.

I think this depends on your measure and degree of relapse as well as what your measure of victory and freedom from this addiction is. Because this question should really be answered by someone that is in your (and your fiancee’) sphere of influence, I would highly recommend that you discuss this openly with your pastor or whomever will be doing your premarital counseling.