Questions


Frequently Asked Questions.

My 8 year old son reacted to seeing breasts on a documentary…has he been inappropriately “awakened?”

We were watching the documentary, “Babies” which is rated PG. There was “cultural and maternal nudity” which means full on breasts and nursing. My 8 year old son told me that seeing their “private areas” made him feel bad/uncomfortable and that he felt his penis getting bigger. He’s never seen any images of a mature woman’s breast before as far as I know. I explained to him that in certain cultures, women’s breasts aren’t considered private but they are in ours and that the way his penis felt is perfectly natural but just not appropriate at his age. He responded, “When I’m married like Daddy that’s when it is appropriate.” I told him that until then, he’ll know that if he sees something that makes his penis feel like that, he’ll know that it might not be appropriate for him at that time and to remove himself from that situation. I feel awful that I have mistakenly allowed him to be “awakened” him sexually and that this has caused irreparable damage. What should I do/have I done?? Thanks in advance.

Hi Cindy,

I think you’re OK and I don’t think you allowed anything to awaken.  This IS normal and how awesome that you were around when it took place so you could have the conversation!!    I would like you to consider getting the latest book written by Craig Gross and David Dean called Touchy Subjects.   It will help you have ongoing conversations with your son (which need to happen).   Also be careful to not shame your son (and I know you are not doing this and I believe you are an awesome mom!)  for this happening— it is normal and calling it inappropriate makes it sound like he did something wrong.

 

God bless you

How to challenge my man

My fiancé is everything I prayed for. He has so much love for Jesus in his heart. He has the same dreams as me and we both share the same heartbeat for ministry. Our friendship and foundation was built upon our similar visions for the kingdom. However, despite how wonderful he is to me-he just can’t overcome the final step of freedom from his sexual addiction. He has taken all the right steps needed for freedom… I am writing you today because I need to know a fresh way to challenge him in love to finally get rid of this crap before our wedding(in November). I have told him everything I know to say. I don’t know how to respond anymore. I am growing very weary. I never want to give up on him.

Hi Lauren,

This does not go away in marriage… trust me on that.  I had all of those things with my husband every single one of them… this was the one area that he was stuck in and I really beleived that if I was a good safe place and once we were married could have all kinds of crazy good marital sex then we’d be good to go and he would not need the porn!

That was true for 6 weeks.   And then it all began in our marriage.   He finally made a choice 10 years into our marriage but it wasn’t me.  Shockingly to everyone, he chose the world.    Many never saw it coming… I really believed that God had a plan to use us in ministry together and even believed it would be to help others like you and your fiance.   Sadly… that wasn’t the case.   I wish I had listened to God when He was revealing everything in the light before marriage.

I would recommend Pure Life Ministries to you both.  They have a one time counseling call for situations like this and they also offer other counseling options.

What to do

I have an amazing husband, father, and friend. He has a special app on his iPod and regularly looks at porn. He just doesn’t know I know. I know his pass code. I am trying so hard to be the best wife I can be, pray for him, me, our family daily. I give him to The Lord daily and forgive him daily. I just don’t know if I should say anything or not. A little advice would be helpful.

Secrets are still secrets whether he is keeping them or you are.   We believe that a transparent and honest marriage is the best marriage therefore we would encourage you to talk about it with your husband.  Of course in a non judgmental and non shaming way.  It sounds like you have that part down.

You both might want to watch our recent webinar together. 

Best wishes

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