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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
How can I get away from my desire to be with another guy?
I think the key word you used was “desire”.
Regardless of what unwanted behavior or desire we possess, I believe it we desire it then there’s a good chance that desire is not going to just disappear; however there are plenty of other things we can do to pursue other desires that are pure and are right and hopefully those will overcome the others.
I have a close friend who loves the Lord. This friend is also and has always been attracted to the same sex. For a period of time this person walked away from God because they said they couldn’t do both and then they “experimented” in the lifestyle they thought they wanted but said that they never had any peace and were always filled with emptiness so they decided to turn back to the Lord and pray that the desire would go away. It never did, but because my friend has put other things in place that are conducive with the life they want to live, they are walking out a life without the lifestyle that is not conducive to their beliefs and convictions (hope that made sense!). We had this conversation again the other day and they said the longer they replace the desire or thoughts with other things, the easier and less frequent the thoughts or desires come.
I don’t know what to do anymore I have struggled with porn and sexual addiction to long and I have ruined my marriage. My wife has had enough and I have fully committed to getting over this but i don’t know if she wants to try and fix it. And now she is talking to other guys online and I tried talking to her last night about it and she has shut down and doesn’t want to listen to anything I say or try and understand what I’m going through. I don’t know what to do anymore is it to late for us?
If both spouses are committed to God and to their marriage vows then it is never too late.
If one or both spouses have hardened their heart toward the other then it takes a miracle—but those still exist too.
The best advice I can give you is to put all your words into action. If you’ve been double-minded in your own walk as well as in your marriage it is going to take some proving before your wife will really begin to see you are serious.
If you are serious about breaking free for the RIGHT reasons then you will continue to pursue this regardless of what your wife chooses at this point.
Keep pursuing freedom and keep pursuing your wife in love.
Do you have, or able to recommend, support for wives of men who struggle in this area?
We have a section exclusive for spouses. We also have X3groups for spouses. You may also want to check out Partners For Purity Online.
You are definitely not alone!
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