Questions

Frequently Asked Questions.

Accountability

I am your “run-of-mill” porn and masturbation addict. I have been on a slow road to recovery. I have a question about accountability. A lot of blog posts on here are about how we need accountability. I have tried to be accountable with some friends who I say they want accountability, but every time I confess or tell them I’m struggling they don’t always answer. There is no confession or communication on their part. I’ve given up on them, but it hurts a little to share my struggle and open up, and they have given little. I guess my question is: who is the ideal accountability partner? Should they be the older, wiser or should it grow out of a friendship where there is a shared passion for following Christ? This accountability stuff seems like it’s for the birds sometimes. I am just man who desires encouragement and to equally give it. Right now, for me, that barely exists, if at all.

Unfortunately, we do hear a lot of this. But yes– you are onto something when you ask if accountability should grow out of a friendship. This seems to be the best set up for success because in friendship you know the other person is invested in you and cares. In a friendship where both have Christ as their center, Godly accountability should just be part of your relationship and not something forced. Sometimes we need people to hold our feet to the fire so to speak and the only ones who are really going to do that are people that are invested in our lives.

You may want to check out Craig’s new book: Open as well as X3groups.

Spouse

A few questions…Does your filter take care of people’s photos on Facebook? We don’t have friends that post explicit photos but from time to time I do see some girls that are not dressed very modestly, or they might just be making a “sexy” face or something. My husband is a firefighter and some of the stations have porn magazines in the bathroom stalls…What to do about that…? Also, sometimes the guys at the station will be watching a movie, or even a commercial (that most people wouldn’t think anything of, but for guys it grabs their attention)…These are things that my husband can’t put a filter on since it’s at work…so what to do about that? Is this just the part where he has to be accountable to himself and to his accountability partner? I doubt very highly that my husband would spend $99 on o the online workshops but when I saw the workshops I was SO excited because I know he would love being able to participate in the privacy of our home. Any advice on convincing him? Obviously I know since he cares about me that maybe that would be enough for him to invest the money but I’m worried of what he’ll think when I first mention it… I’m afraid he will be like WHAT?! How much?! I was thinking I could tell him it costs less than counseling… The only problem with the online workshops for us is that he cannot participate the same day of each week because he is at work on random days (24 hrs. on, 24 off, and he does that 3 times and then he’s off for 4 days.) So he would miss the sessions…Is there a way to make up the sessions?? Thank you!!

Strategies for Overcoming

I’ve been fighting a porn addiction for many many years … and about a year ago, finally told my wife about my problems. She is a fantastic woman and has helped me where she can. I’m just wondering if anyone out there have strategies for keeping your mind pure. We are constantly surrounded by images of skimpily clad woman, not to mention the years of built up objectification of woman makes it so hard to not see any woman as an object. I pray constantly for God to renew my mind and help me overcome this. I feel like I’m progressing, but so very slowly. It’s so hard to not automatically let your eyes wander over a woman’s body. I try to catch myself, but it just seems like a built in mechanism I can’t compete with. Thoughts ?

Have you thought about going through an X3pure Men’s workshop? How about joining a X3group?