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Get insight, advice, and encouragement from our community of writers on the topics of porn addiction and sexual integrity.
Frequently Asked Questions.
Is it biblically wrong to masturbate if you are not using porn or thinking of someone else? I’ve heard people say its wrong because it’s a selfish act, but eating dessert or watching a football game is a selfish act too. If the bible says it is wrong please tell me where. Thank you.
Here is a great article that you may find helpful from Pure Life Ministries.
Hi there, I have been married for almost nine years and my husband has struggled with a porn addiction for all of those and more. Right from day one of our marriage he only occasionally feels like sex. I remember being confused on the second day we got married as he didn’t want to have sex. We maybe will have sex every fortnight. I have issues of a different sort – physical affection and being desired are super important to me. In the early days of our marriage I just assumed my husband had a low sex drive and I would have to deal with it. This resulted in me making some VERY bad decisions and sleeping with someone else as well as having an affair (although we didn’t sleep together). After both of my mistakes we went to councelling and have an incredibly strong marriage now. All but for one thing… my husbands pornography addiction is still there. I don’t know what to do… can you suggest anything? Thanks kindly,
We have many resources in the spouses section of XXXchurch.com that might be of help to you. I would check those out.
Pure Life Ministries is also an excellent resource and offers counseling for men stuck in porn and their wives.
We also have X3groups here at XXXchurch for the men but not for the wives (yet). You need a good support system too: Partners For Purity might just be that for you in this season!
I caught my husband two years ago using porn. Since then we have gone to counseling., groups, etc. My husband has never been consistent in going to groups and counseling. He is in and out of them. He used porn again when he was mad at me 10 months ago. Aside from that there have been no “slips” that I know about. He said that before I caught him he looked at porn maybe once a month and masturbated about every week (sometimes without porn but thought of other women). He says he struggles more with anxiety and depression. Porn was just his drug of choice. He also has a very low sex drive. My counselor met with him last week to hear his side of the story. (Eventually we will be doing couples counseling). After meeting with my husband she said that she doesn’t think he had a porn addiction. She said he abused porn but doesn’t have the typical symptoms (signs) of an addict. Up until now I’ve always viewed him as an addict. Either way it’s hurtful of course but I’m a little curious about your thoughts on addiction vs. Habit?
That is definitely an interesting thought: “masturbating once a week and looking at porn once a month (repetitive behavior) is just a habit not addiction” Ok– well if he can stop and never return it to again then I guess it is not an addiction.
But I ask you, him (and I guess ultimately that counselor)— does that make it less sinful or less hurtful in his walk with the Lord? In his marriage? In his productivity? In the way he feels about himself and life? I think those are the bigger questions.
It sounds like he is willing to get help if he went to a counselor but I certainly hope that he doesn’t look at this “assesment” as an “out” to deal with whatever the root issues are that are causing him to want to find an escape through porn and masturbation.
I also hope that you will continue to get the counseling you need so that you can come to a place of understanding this is not about you and should not be made about you and you can stand in confidence in God in who you are regardless of your husband’s choices and ultimately that God would give you a heart of compassion instead of brokenenss so that you can spur your husband on- be his cheerleader and really help enourage him in his walk with God and purity! 🙂 Check out our entire spouses section for more resources for you.
God bless you both.
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